There are any number of Hallmark movies that show us how to make the man in our lives feel loved and appreciated. But no matter how they twist the plot line, I’ve yet to find one of those movies that my husband will, voluntarily, sit down and watch with me. He fails to see the entertainment value in a fictional story that only deals with made-up problems and superficial infatuations. I get it – how can they be meant for each other after only two hours? Well, that’s a question for the ages. I suppose I’ll just have to keep watching and let you know. 😉
Our husbands may not always like a romantic movie, but I’ve yet to find one that doesn’t like/need to feel loved, especially from the one woman in this world, that means the most to him…his mother! Oh, I’m just kidding! You know I meant his wife!
Seriously, our mates were designed to respond to the love we show towards them. So, I asked a few “seasoned” married women what their husbands wanted to hear this Valentine’s Day, and this is what they told me:
“My husband, more than anything else, wants to hear that I respect and honor him as the head of our household, our provider and spiritual head. He wants to know that I’m glad I married him and that I’d do it all over again! (And I would!!) He feels love when I say, and show him, that I appreciate the way he serves our family, and that he serves us well.” – Rachel LeFevre (married 28 years)
Beth Dye, who has been married for 44 years, said her husband wants to hear, “I appreciate how you have loved, honored and prayed for me. I have loved being your friend and life partner. You are amazing!”
“My husband is very easy to please. It’s the little things that have kept our love alive for nearly 44 years. I treat him to his favorite candy, or wearing something I know he likes. He wants to hear that he’s my best friend and that he is so appreciated. These are some of the small things that let him know that I love him” – Joyce Cope (married 44 years)
In my own experience, I’ve learned that my husband wants to hear that I love him above all others and that I’m grateful for the way he takes care of me. For example, he makes breakfast for me on Sunday mornings and brings it to me. (Anything I want!) Partly, in order to expedite my readiness for church, a fact that doesn’t escape my notice, but mainly to show me that I am loved. Sometimes I even say, “l love you too” when he brings it into the room and he just smiles a “knowing” smile. It inspires me to be more of a servant too. Although our marriage isn’t always perfect, it’s endured quite happily for over 26 years.
After hearing from these godly women, along with what I’ve learned through the years, a handful of points began to emerge about what blesses our husbands most.
- He wants to hear that he’s a good provider. Not just of materials things, but of everything that pertains to our spiritual wellbeing and happiness.
- He wants to hear that he’s a good protector. Although, this point is slightly akin to the first, it speaks to his virility, that which makes him masculine and male. We know God made them differently, and sometimes he needs us to appreciate that God has given him the desire to shield us from harm. (It’s not much fun to protect someone when they don’t appreciate it.)
- He wants to hear that he’s the spiritual head of your household. I’ve seen, even a man that is a new believer, respond so positively, when his wife chooses to come under his spiritual leadership. We are very capable beings in our own right, and a good husband knows and values that and he wants to rise to meet that calling.
- He wants to hear that we know his love language. What most men (and women, for that matter) need to hear is what makes them feel truly loved. We need to find out what our husband or fiancé’s “love language” is, and speak it fluently. Not what makes us feel loved, but what speaks love to him. It’ll keep your relationship strong and you’ll reap the dividends in a happy and fulfilled mate.
- He wants to hear that we are completely his and he is the only one that we want. This should go without say, in a covenant relationship like marriage. But, sadly we carry things from our past over into our marriages or let little things fester and sometimes withhold this kind of adoration and fidelity from our spouses. Let me just say, in all gentleness and love – repent. Don’t let it go another day. You say, “You don’t understand my situation.” You’re right, I don’t. But, I do know that the only one we can change is ourselves and we must commit to pray for our spouses, whatever the situation. If you haven’t told him lately, take this Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to do so. Your marriage is worth it.
I don’t claim to be a relationship expert, nor is this a comprehensive look at marriage. But rather a snapshot of what other women, like you, have experienced. When we tell our husbands what they really want to hear this Valentine’s Day, and really mean it, it will be a truly memorable holiday. Oh, wait, I think I hear my husband on the back steps now telling me he loves me… with every shovel-full of snow.